Thursday, July 31, 2008

How to Do Your Brows (this is a joke)

I was feeling inspired by a hilarious publication to do a "how-to" post. It's a joke. Don't try it. ;) And don't believe any of the mottoes, either.

How to Do Your Brows

Wax on, wax off. All of it. Yeah, it'll hurt, but "no pain, no vain." Something like that. In other words, if beauty doesn't hurt, you're not pretty enough yet.

With a Sharpie (choose your own color, but it MUST be a Sharpie so you don't lose your brows in the rain), trace the edge of one half of your favorite coffee mug onto the area above each eye. No, you don't have to saw it in half—-just eyeball where to stop and start. You might want to practice with an eyeliner pencil or a ballpoint pen first until you get the hang of it. After all, a Sharpie's a PAIN to get off, which is why we're using one.

The best way to line up the coffee mug is to hold the handle parallel to your nose with your useless hand, making sure the bottom of the cup is resting in the bottom edge of your eye socket. Holding the Sharpie in your dominant hand, trace the edge right onto your forehead. If you follow this method, they'll be even on both sides. You don't want to look ridiculous.

You can change your brow shape (bigger, smaller, squarer(?)...)from day to day based on how much caffeine you think you need to get through morning. Just finish your cup and, before putting it in the dishwasher or leaving it on your desk to grow mold in the residue, hold it up to your eye. Make sure you drink all of your coffee first. Gah, don't be a ditz. You don't want to waste coffee on your eyes, though, on second thought, it may firm up the skin.

No comments: